Viva Las Vegas! Time to spew in my sleep and lose my mind

The time had finally come to enter Nevada and get silly in Vegas. The plan from the start had always been to get to Vegas for Kelly’s birthday and we’d managed to stick to it and time it well. It had been a while between showers and beds so were keen to get in and enjoy some comfort and blow off some steam. Booked the first night in the Luxor hotel, the big one shaped like an Egyptian pyramid with a massive sphinx out the front. Slightly different from sleeping in the car.

Vegas was everything I expected it to be; tacky, sleazy, touristy and fucking excellent! Drinking frozen daiquiris on the strip and eating like a pig, good times were had! Took it relatively easy the first night and just relaxed in the pool and had a few quiet drinks walking down the strip and checking out the weirdness. Moved from the Luxor to the circus and let the silly times begin. Next few days are all a bit blurry but I can assure you fun times were had. So many free drinks sitting at slot machines placing 25 cent bets waiting for waitresses to appear. At first we weren’t very good at scoring free booze but became pros by the end and even stalked the waitresses in one casino to find the door they all come through so could hang around and place our free orders. One waitress brought us 4 Kahlua and milks each in the space of about 10 minutes.

Had a minor water fight in New York New York, Kelly humped a stuffed m&m in the m&m store and stole multiple handfuls of various crazy flavours (pretzel m&ms are fucking amazing!) and just generally drank as much as could fit inside our bodies. I recall buying a 500ml can of alcoholic peach ice tea that was 12 per cent and cost $1.50…after that I’m not too sure what went on. Those kind of antics continued for a couple of days apart from the one night we decided to go to a buffet. Amazing and terrifying experience. The food was unbelievable and we both ate so much that we were in physical pain and could no longer enjoy our night of booziness so had to return to the hotel defeated to chunder uncontrollably like a dying goose.

Other silliness occurred but I don’t think it’s wise to discuss such events. Exited Vegas feeling shaky and dirty and started heading back to California! Full circle and stuff! Elton john was right, it is the circle of life. Mufasa for president! Were trying to get to death valley but made it about an hour outside of Vegas before deciding driving was shit after a pretty heavy few days of booze. Tried to find somewhere to stay in some backwards anal wart of a town outside Vegas only to find the only two places to sleep thought $100 seemed like a reasonable amount for a room. Bunch of jerks. We showed them what we thought of that price by parking the car in the motel parking lot, inflating the mattress and sleeping in the tray outside the motel. Felt like a victory.

So that was it, finally on our way ‘home’ to California! Death valley sounds nice right?

#california #eltonjohn #lasvegasnevada #luxorlasvegas #nevada #newyork #newyorkcity #peachteatasteslikeanexoticpartyonmytoungeregion #stupidityinvegas #thedyinggoosespewstwice #vegas #walrussexcarnival

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